A love of the ordinary

Someone asked me the other day how old SP was when she stopped taking a bottle, and I had no idea. I quickly rifled through my mental memory albums. I could remember her first encounter with green beans (not positive), our struggle to find a sippy cup she’d use (I think it was #6 that finally did the trick) and how relieved I was to go to the grocery store and not have to buy formula (the relief was more economic than developmental). But I had no idea when any of those things had happened.

I’d always heard that I’d forget a lot about her birth and early years (though unfortunately, I do still remember how much giving birth hurt!), but was under the impression that the forgetting would be primarily the bad things, not the good things, and even the ordinary things.

Now maybe I have a hard time remembering the developmental stuff because SP did everything on her own timetable, never matching up with what she was “supposed” to do. So I may have read 20 things that said she’d be walking at around 12 months, but since that deadline came and went, it was hard to remember when she actually hit that milestone (14 or 15 months? I think?)

Not remembering this type of thing makes me feel guilty and a little sad. Guilty, because if I were a good mom, wouldn’t I remember these moments perfectly, or have scrapbooked them or something? (Mommy guilt: the most powerful force in the universe!) And sad because when my little SP grows up and has a child of her own, I won’t be able to share these little details with her. Though knowing our bloodline, her baby will probably be doing things its own way too.

I finally decided I needed to get over it. So I can’t tell my friend when my daughter did something. So what? There’s no “right” or “wrong” time for any of this. You just have to be there for your child and go along with their schedule. Slow down, relax and enjoy all the moments—good, bad and ordinary.

Because you’re going to forget most of them in a few years anyway.


    • bobbi
    • March 8th, 2010

    Thanks, RBVH! I had a calendar that a dear friend gave me that I was supposed to put all the dates in, like a cool, easy baby book with stickers, and even that didn’t work. {sigh} They’re bright, healthy, funny and tall, so I guess I need to be okay with the fact that even though I didn’t document it very well, they grew up just fine.

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