Archive for July, 2010

Running

This week, I run my first 5K. I started training 7 weeks ago, from what one could describe as a place of dubious physical fitness.

I have never run a 5K or anything close to it.

I’m slow. It’s going to take me a while. But I will run. And I will finish. This I know.

I know I will finish because I run for my daughter. I run for my sweet Iris, for her future. I run because a parent’s weight is a major predictor of their child’s weight. I run because I know the pain of being an overweight child. I run because I want Iris to see me trying, even when it’s not easy, even when I want to stop with every step. I run because if I can do it, she can do it. I run so she knows that she can do anything.

I know I will finish because I run for my husband. I run for the support he’s given me throughout our 10 years. I run because he’s always made me feel beautiful, even when I don’t look it or feel it. I run because I want to have as many years together as we possibly can.

I know I will finish because I run for myself. I run because I can, because I’m healthy and strong. I run to clear my mind, to chase away the blues. I run because with every step, I see the faces of my beautiful family. I run because I don’t want to take one second of this life for granted.

I know I will finish because I feel myself changing my life.

– ALW

Advertisements

Blogarellas

I read many, many blogs. My interests vary, but they are mostly on design, decor, cooking and a few parenting blogs (and I confess most are daddy bloggers). Many of them reside in my fair city. Take a few minutes to visit these Madison bloggers and resources. Share with me a few of your favorites.

Elsie Marley: How Meg manages to combine mothering, crafting, baking and wearing cowboy boots is a mystery to me. I thank her for helping me learn how to sew, along with:

Ellen (and Lisa) of Half-Pint Resale: Two moms who run a seasonal consignment sale of children’s clothing and items. It’s pretty amazing. Their blog shares tips on how to score deals for your family.

Boy Crazy: Elizabeth expounds on life with three boys, creative writing, lovely photos and everything in between.

Accidents Will Happen: Musings on toddlerdom. By accident.

Raising Madison: A parenting resource for those in and around the Madison area.

Happy Bambino’s Blog: Their store is a fantastic resource and the blog is for bellies, birth, babies and breastfeeding. 

Stay tuned for a my daddy blogger roundup later this week.

– MD

A Healing Birth

I’ve written here before about my first experience with natural childbirth, which was, though uncomplicated, for me a bit traumatic. I wanted to try to do it again, though, and I did.

I am not militantly pro natural childbirth. While I do believe it is the ideal birthing process for both mothers and babies, both times I told myself I would welcome drugs if I needed them. And frankly, I don’t know why and how I didn’t use them the first time.  Maybe at every moment I felt I had gone too far to turn back now.  Maybe I was completely out of my gourd. Or maybe my convictions run deeper than I think.

At any rate, I approached things very differently this time. I went with a midwives group and I worked with a doula, who, in my opinion, earned her entire fee just by being with me for the car ride to the hospital, not to mention seeing me through my contractions as I was shuffled from room to room and down hallways and on and off an elevator once we got there. And my labor itself was very different- I woke up one morning at three thirty and lay there listening when the birds started up at four, watching their dark shadows move outside our windows. My contractions started at five and, after only two hours in the hospital, my son was born at ten forty-five.

And it wasn’t that bad. Don’t get me wrong—for the last forty-five minutes I was asking for an epidural, but I hesitated (because I did NOT want to have to lie down on that bed!) and then it was time. And then J was born.

We don’t plan on having any more children, and I confess that my predominate thought throughout much of my labor and pregnancy was, “Thank God I don’t have to do this again.” I relay this with no small degree of guilt, since so many women, some of my friends among them, have not conceived and carried children with the ease that I have.  But there it is. 

But in the days after this baby’s birth I’ve been feeling differently about some things I will never do again. I will never have that moment of joy and—in my case, anyway—overriding relief the moment someone places my newborn child in my arms.  I will never have the surprise of first seeing their faces, and of knowing whether we made a boy or a girl.  I will never feel the bliss of holding my baby in my arms as I am wheeled through the cool hospital hallways to my room, feeling no pain, feeling nothing but happiness.

My doula says that there is something known as a healing birth: a positive birth experience which can ease and even heal the pain of a traumatic one, and I believe that this is what I have had.  She says that sometimes women even get pregnant with the specific aim of having such a birth, hoping to harness its power.  I don’t think I would go that far, but I am so grateful for this experience. When I think of my second childbirth experience, I feel nothing but joy, and now when I think of my first one I feel mostly pride.

– AC